If your relationship is making you feel scared, uncomfortable, controlled or unhappy – even if sometimes things go well – it could be time to seriously think about whether the relationship is right for you.

Abuse in relationships can take many forms and can be invisible to those outside the relationship. Some types of abuse can be excused as a sign that your partner really cares for you or just lost their temper, but even if you believe the person really loves you deep down, it is still unacceptable. Here are some signs your relationship may be abusive.

Your partner might:

  • Check your texts and messages
  • Get angry, jealous or suspicious when you see your friends and family
  • Pressure you to have sex or do things you don’t want to do by making you feel guilty or like you owe them
  • Tell you what you should wear, where you should go, who you should see
  • Threaten you, call you names or put you down
  • Physically hurt you (e.g. hit, push, bite) when angry or to get you to do what they want
  • Criticise the way you look and tell you no one else will fancy you
  • Take your money or possessions
  • Say they’re sorry and promise they’ll change each time abuse happens

Some important things to remember:

  • If someone is treating you badly, it’s not your fault, you’re not to blame and you’re not alone – it happens to many people and support is out there.
  • Being drunk or under the influence of drugs is not an excuse for abusive behaviour.
  • Abusive relationships don’t always involve physical violence - but threats, intimidation and control are just as serious.
  • Consent is giving permission without feeling pressured or forced. If someone does something sexual to you or gets you to do anything sexual without your full consent, then they are breaking the law – even if they are your boyfriend or girlfriend or you’ve had sex before. If you are drunk, drugged or asleep, you probably aren’t able to fully consent.
  • You should never have to do something sexual that you don't feel comfortable with, even if your friends are comfortable in similar situations.

If you need more information, check out: thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk or brook.org.uk/your-life/abuse

For more information on domestic violence support in Leeds please visit: Leeds Domestic Violence and Abuse

If you’re under 18, you can contact Childline on 0800 1111

These local agencies work with young people:
Archway provides help and support for young people aged 16 to 25. You can call them on 0113 383 3900.
The Market Place is based in Leeds city centre and offers free and confidential advice and support for 13 to 25 year olds. Call them on 0113 246 1659.

"Remember, if you’re in danger and need urgent help, call 999 immediately."

To find more information about what health in relationships visit https://www.disrespectnobody.co.uk